Fireproof

I finally saw the movie Fireproof yesterday! Jed and I had it from Netflix for much longer than we should have, like at least a couple of months, so I'm really glad we took the time to watch it. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. For those that haven't seen it, it's about a couple whose marriage is on the rocks. The husband gets a challenge from his dad to find love through Christ and to do a 40 day "Love Dare" where he does something nice for his wife each day. He is reluctant at first, but learns to fall back in love with his wife. The wife of course is reluctant to trust him, so that puts a wrench in things when the husband finally wants the marriage to work but she is still holding back. There's also an element in the movie about the dangers of pornography and how it can ruin a marriage. I think this could be an awesome movie to have and to use to reflect on how your marriage is going. Being married for 19 months is not that long, and while I could never see us having such big problems that would cause us to grow as far apart as this couple did, you don't want to become complacent because I think it's probably when you get comfortable and stop trying that a marriage starts to fall apart. Constant vigilance, am I right?

Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't cry more than I actually did. I really only teared up a couple of times and tears actually escaped my eyes only in one scene. It was funny, too, I think Jed was expecting me to cry (Scratch that, I'm sure he was. I cry these days over the most ridiculous things). In the beginning, the couple has these terrible fights with awful yelling. They say the most selfish things. Jed was on his laptop as we watched, but he kept reaching over and rubbing my arm and looking at me like, are you okay? I wasn't crying (believe me I was surprised) but it was making me extremely sad to see these people be so selfish and rude to each other. Ha ha but what a good husband is Jed? I think he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to start crying and make sure I remembered that the mean husband is in the movie, and that Jed is a nice husband. It's good to reassure your spouse that you love them. In the arguments we've had, Jed has never been rude to me. We were just talking about this the other day, too. Of course we have had our arguments, and in the beginning of the marriage, I don't think either of us knew really how to deal with the other person when they were upset. Jed would get mad, I would cry, and him being mad made me cry more and my crying made him feel worse and worse, and so he was more mad. Now, if I'm upset, I still cry of course, and Jed gets mad of course, but we have both learned to look past our emotions a little and try to help the other person. It's just awesome knowing that we know each other so well, even in moments when we are most upset and the least likely to be kind to each other, we are learning to be less selfish and help the other person get over their unhappy feelings. I am so glad we have a relationship like that, and not one like the couple in the move where we yell and insult each other!

Anyways, I wanted to write this post not only to recommend the movie to everyone out there, because it was great, but also to talk about how awesome to do something like that! Last year, before Valentine's Day, I did the 12 Days of Valentine's. Starting on February 2nd, I gave Jed a small Milky Way and a Vanilla Coke along with a note of why I loved him. It was really fun for both of us, and I think that doing a challenge like that, whether a 12 day challenge or 40 day challenge where you really focus on showing love to your spouse is awesome. I told Jed we should do that this year as a count down to our anniversary. So, if we do it, you will hear of it! Maybe I will even type up all the things we do for each other so that you can get some inspiration of your own. (And if anyone out there has done something like this, I know Jed and I would both appreciate getting some ideas of what to do. 40 days of different acts of service, gifts, etc. is a lot of things to do, especially when there are two people doing it!) I think I will approach this by looking at the five love languages (physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service) and think of as many as possible of each. I just have to think of 8 things for each love language, and there's my 40 days! We'll see how it goes.

So, if you're looking for a New Years Resolution, this is a great movie to spark some ideas for resolutions with the people in your life!